Find the Fire in the Ice

My Face Showed Nothing [Short Story]

2008-12-29T20:36:00.000-08:00

I examined the scene from my crouched position near the body of Robin Pinchbeck. A knife lay across the kitchen floor, motionless where it rested close to the dead man’s hand. A small pool of blood lay near his head. I jotted a few notes down in my notebook. It looked simple and obvious to me. “Murder.” My heart beat slightly faster at the thought, and images of previous investigations flashed through my mind. I hated murder and violence, maybe that was why I worked so hard to banish it from the world. Or at least that’s what I told myself. I often wondered if I could be capable of murder. The answer I gave myself was usually a quiet yes. Hating people was one of my strong points, unfortunately. Maybe that was the real reason for my murder investigations. I wanted to pay penance for my guilt; the part I played in the horrible process.“Excuse me, sir, if I could just get in there for a moment,” a voice said politely. I was jolted from my thoughts as I stood up at the photographer’s prompt. “No problem, I was just finishing up.” I smiled somewhat nervously and walked out of the kitchen. Murder scenes always made me anxious. Part of it was the amount of murders that I had seen. All that violence took a toll on me. I was walking towards the door when I noticed a woman standing by herself in the doorway to the bedroom. It must be Robin Pinchbeck’s wife. She looked at me as I passed by. I made a note to myself to come back later and talk to her. But right now, the anxiety in my heart was too much to bear. I had to do something about it before I could concentrate on the task at hand. Back in my office, I tried to relax. Seeing a murder scene was always hard, but this was somehow worse, as if I had personally known the victim. I needed to relax; relaxing was key. I could feel anxiety building up in my chest, pushing at my skull. Gruesome memories flashed through my head; this often happened when I investigated a murder case. My anxiety rose to the surface, resulting in sweat on my forehead. I couldn’t always deal with these panic attacks. They got worse, case by case. I needed to free myself, to escape. Most of all, I needed my head in the game. Yes, that was it! I needed to concentrate. I had to keep my cool and focus. Find the killer of Mr. Robin Pinchbeck. But I couldn’t do that if I was falling apart on the inside. I couldn’t deal with it! I had to escape. The sweating on my brow worsened. My thoughts were screaming at me to free them, to let them wander in their own reality! I couldn’t take it, I let myself obey my feelings. I looked around to make sure I was alone, and reached into my drawer. I popped up the false bottom and pulled out a bag of psychological delinquents. I didn’t even know what kind of euphoria I kept, but it didn’t matter. Anything that could take my mind off the searing images of death. Pinchbeck’s murder wasn’t particularly brutal, just a trigger. I plunged my hand into the bag and came out with a syringe. I prepared my arm, and silently slid the needle into my vein. Within a few minutes of injecting the fluid into my body, the room began to waver and flicker. This was a particularly potent does of…whatever it was I had just taken. Lights seemed to grow brighter and every color was so vivid I felt I could practically taste them. My favorite part was coming up; the incarnations of a personal reality. They strutted past me like a marching band. I saw familiar faces, imaginary faces; really, any face that would fit into my delirium. They spoke to me, screamed at me, tried to provoke me. They made me hate them. Maybe they were real…was it so bad to believe they might exist? Of course not, they were real. I knew they were, but more importantly, I believed there were. This was my solace, because here, every victim I failed to save was alive and well. In this reality, I had never failed.The colors faded and I was sitting at my desk in a dusty old office, alone. I could not recall what had just happened. I noticed the bag of miscreants in my drawer and shoved them farther down and under the false bottom of the drawer. The mysterious syringe on the floor followed suit. I shook my head and took a deep breath. Then I remember what I had been doing before the mysterious gap in my memory; a murder investigation. That would explain the gap and the bag of unexplained runaways. I pulled out a photo we’d had on file of the murder victim and was examining it when suddenly, a strange feeling hit me. I knew this man, and not because I had seen him dead earlier this morning. I knew him from somewhere else. I recognized him. His face probed at images that I couldn’t quite recall. Where did I know him from? I froze as realization slowly dawned. I leapt up and grabbed my coat as an anxious feeling gripped my heart.My car screeched to a halt in front of the house I’d visited just that morning. The wife was still here, I knew that because her car was parked in the same spot. I was sure she could help me. Pictures of the dead man would confirm my theory; pictures of him when he was alive. I needed visual evidence to prove my theory.I walked up the pathway to the door and knocked hesitantly. I heard footsteps drawing near, and I waited as the door opened. What faced me very nearly destroyed my sanity.Robin Pinchbeck stood in the doorway of his house. A wide, surprised smile was on his face.“Jared! What are you doing here? Come on in!” He exclaimed. I couldn’t move. The shock of what I was seeing was tearing the fragile thing I called reality into shreds. This man was dead. I had seen him lying face down in his own blood just this morning. He was dead.“Um…please, come in?” The man asked uncomfortably. He was examining my face now. He must notice my shock. I simply stared back. Finally, I summoned enough courage to say something.“Um….is…is your wife home?” Now it was his turn to stare.“Jared, you know I’m not married, now what’s this all about?” That did it. I broke. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. “You’re dead,” I whispered.“You are dead! And there was a woman here and she was your wife and she knew you were dead too!” By now, I was practically screaming in hysteria. I couldn’t think straight, I could only scream at this apparition of a nightmare. “Oh Jared…I see what’s happened...” He suddenly looked regretful and tense at the same time. He took a small step forward. “I was afraid of this. I knew when you approached me about your idea, that there could be serious consequences. You said you needed your head in the game; you needed to concentrate on your murder investigations. You said that you’d pay me well. I went along with it. The supplies I provided for you did what you wanted…for a while. Don’t you remember your last visit? You became angry with me because I refused to continue providing you with those…deplorable things. I know you hated me for that, Jared, apparently bad enough that you had me killed; if only in your own reality.” He looked as if he were pleading with me. But I couldn’t listen to this. He was dead and I knew it! Whatever this…thing was, it wasn’t real. It was a shadow, a dream. I felt anxiety rising in my chest as I grasped at this thought. The panic swelled in my head and blocked everything out. I needed an escape and I needed it now; I knew where to find it too. Suddenly, I turned and ran to my car not looking back to respond to the gasp of surprise from behind me. I leapt into the driver’s seat, started the car and drove away.I tried to drive for a few minutes but the anxiety got the better of me. I pulled to the side and, with shaking hands, pulled a syringe from the glove compartment. I jabbed it into my neck and released its contents into my system. I smiled and waited for the familiar sense of euphoria. But instead, my heart began accelerating. The anxiety increased, the pressure mounted. I could only hear my heartbeat in my ears, a fevered pounding. With trembling hands I raised the syringe to the level of my eyes and looked at the label on the side. It read “epinephrine”. I had just injected myself with a highly concentrated dose of pure adrenaline. I smiled at the irony of it all as the pounding in my ears increased to a rate I couldn’t keep up with. My smile disappeared as my body began convulsing. I wanted to scream, my body was going to explode! I felt my heart gasp as it reached its breaking point. Suddenly, my body ceased its convulsions. And the pounding stopped.

Dear Obama

2008-11-04T22:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Barack Obama,

Congratulations on winning the Presidency of the United States. I only ask a few things. Please be kind to your constituents and realize that raising taxes would hurt the middle class. Please respect my religious rights. Please respect my 2nd Amendment rights. I think what I'm saying is; don't touch my rights. They're mine, not yours. They are not given by the government and they are not man made. Don't assume that you have more power than you were given. Please, Mr. Obama, above all respect and obey the Constitution. It is there for a reason. I do, however, want to thank you for one thing. You have inspired me to blog again. Thank you, and good luck.

Sincerely,
Empyrean

The Angel's Cage

2008-07-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

So I have been kind of busy with lots of stuff. But I might as well post a poem I wrote a while ago. I really don't have time to post anything else.

This is the untold story of the angel and her cage
The beauty that was broken, from another age.
Pushed behind iron bars, locked with bolts of hate,
The angel could not stand alone, nor touch her jailer’s fate.

She gazed beyond her wired cell, into the world beyond.
Seeing only the jailer she wished to help, of whom she was so fond.
But he had rejected her, her remedial powers
For he had locked both him and her, in steely graven towers.

A wound that he could not heal, inflicted by his hand
A pain of the conscience, searing like a hot iron brand.
He would not seek help, for he had a fierce pride.
Rather even, than look to the angel, he would hide.
But then, in this dark time, thru the door there came
A stallion, white and shining, the always and forever same.
He broke the cage and the angel ascended on his back
And together they swept up the jailer, and departed from that shack.

And thus this tale ends, for the beauty that was broken
Was once again made whole
And the jailers heart, all broken
Was once again made whole.

The angel represents healing and the jailer is someone who has blocked the power of healing in his life by putting up bars of resentment. The stallion represents Jesus Christ and his power to break the blocking power of hate and let healing do it's work in the jailer's heart.

April's Showers Bring May Flowers

2008-05-06T18:49:00.000-07:00

I did not realize I didn't post at all in the month of April. How horrible. I must be slipping in my strict routine of blogginess. How about just a few quick thoughts then?

I often wonder how people who write lyrics are able to express their thoughts so eloquently. They say very obvious things, but in ways that you'd never thought of them before. For example, this line from Ivoryline "The outside doesn't feel, what the inside knows is real." Obviously, showing the disconnect between our actions and our feelings. Why couldn't you just say that? Well, you couldn't. It wouldn't be nearly as attractive. It's these little anecdotes that keep my faith in the poetic ability of my generation alive. They're quite rare, these little quotes, but they are gems in the rough indeed. You just have to say them with a little flair, and hope that the sun catches the drops as they fall. Bend them into little prisms of color, and enjoy it from a distance.

Well, that's all for now!!

Moral Relativism in America

2008-03-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

So I haven’t posted in 21 days. I think I’ll post more frequently but shorter posts. Anyway, I said this would be about Emerson. For those of you who don’t know, Ralph Waldo Emerson was a 19th century American author who had some whacky beliefs. He is the author of “Self-Reliance” and a number of other humanistic works of literature. He was a great proponent of Transcendentalism, the philosophy that great truth was realized by one’s intuition and not through established religion. He was an influence on Nathaniel Hawthorne and Henry David Thoreau (the land Thoreau lived on while writing Walden was owned by Emerson.) That’s just a little bit about the man. He believed in nature as an avenue to “great truth”. He hated established religion and the idea of a universal truth; Which brings me to my point. I am of the opinion that Mr. Emerson’s influential writings are a contributor to the moral relativism we now have. Observe this quote:

Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance", 1841

This is the attitude of people today. Truth is what feels right, and whatever feels right is truth. Today’s truth isn’t tomorrow’s truth; at least that’s not how it feels. It doesn’t matter if you contradict everything you said today, because if it is right for you, then it doesn’t matter what was right yesterday. This philosophy is a self contradiction, of course, and no society can function normally with it. It is horrifically unstable and will trip you up when you least expect it. Well, that’s all for now.

Emerson's Dragons

2008-03-07T17:04:00.000-08:00

Like it? It will be coming soon. A post on Ralph Waldo Emerson. Intruiging, I know.

The War

2008-03-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I never actually revised this but I'm putting it up anyway, and maybe I'll tweak it later on while it's up.

The War

"The year is 2295. It has been almost 300 years since the war. Nobody knew how devastating it would be; the destruction it brought with it mutilated the world for a half a century. We never saw it coming either, the events that led up to it were so perfect, as if the very hand of God had reached down and directed them. If there was a God, he wouldn’t have done this to us. Only our logic could explain this; humans were no longer the fittest to survive. We were almost entirely exterminated. It all began exactly two hundred and ninety-six years ago.
"It was the year 1999, and scientists and computer programmers and all sorts of people were worried about the effects the year 2000 would have on all our computers. Everyone came to fear what was known as Y2K. Simply stated, the problem was this: the computers of the day were relatively primitive in comparison to what we have today. There was great concern that the computers who used a binary dating system would date files with "00" and the suffix would be taken to mean "1900" by the computers. In theory, this would cause major corporations to have major setbacks in file keeping and documenting. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? Well, if Y2K happened, it could set the entire world back by 100 years. Practically every nation took major precautions, except America. We were too proud to even think that something could take down our computers. Such fools we were…Every prediction made about Y2K came true with drastic results. The stock market crashed and the entire financial sector of the American market was plunged into darkness. Companies that sold time sensitive material such as bonds went under from the confusion and chaos. Every computer on the face of the continent was offline; and because the computers were offline, everything became chaotic. Telephone communication was cut completely; it was run by computer programming. The government was completely helpless; they could do virtually nothing in the face of this technological nightmare. It was also very odd how it happened. America was the most powerful nation in the world, and the only one crippled by the devastation. And all of this was just the beginning. In essence, Y2K had crippled America and brought it to its knees.
"One year later, in 2001, the real war began. After nearly a year, much progress had been made, but in all the wrong areas of life. The government was the first to recover from the collapse. The military was built up almost instantly to guard against any attacks. The civilian population was still vastly without any technology. This didn’t help the morale of the citizens. Tension was building up. There were riots, protestors screaming at the government for help. But nothing happened to ease life for them. Their conditions became primitive. With the collapse of the stock market there was a huge depression that followed. Life was very harsh for the vast majority of America. All technology meant virtually nothing; all the computers that functioned were extremely expensive. People were literally scavenging on the street. Conditions were horrible. Then 9/11 happened. On September 11th, 2001 there was a terrorist attack on the Twin Towers in what was then New York City. The US government immediately lashed out in retaliation and declared war on Afghanistan. This was the final straw. The citizens did not appreciate their government declaring war. The civilian population had had enough of their government, and the biggest uprising in human history took place. The government was now fighting on two fronts. They couldn’t do both, nor were they going to surrender. So they did the unthinkable; they unleashed nuclear weapons. They pulled their troops out of the foreign nations and launched nuclear missiles, while they concentrated on putting down the civilian uprising. When the missiles hit their targets, it became the biggest genocide in the history of human warfare.
"Americans were outraged, and the revolution was brought to a new level of intensity. There was no turning back now. The foreign enemies of America were in no way united. As well as fighting the US, they were fighting amongst themselves. The entire planet was in one huge war. It went on for nearly ten years. Then, on January 23, 2011, the president of the United States was assassinated by a rebel vigilante. This effectively ended the civil war in the America, as well as the war with other countries. Soon, the wars in other countries gradually faded, as the will to fight diminished. The world was left to pick up the pieces of the global catastrophe. Over 5 billion people had been killed. Those that survived had to learn to live in a new world, one without any form of centralized government or governing authority. See, after the assassination of the president, there was a massive struggle for power. Politicians were killing each other just to get to the top. The military then enforced an overthrow, and took control. They didn’t help. The only thing that changed was the name. The military did nothing. But under the command of General Jacob Barker, a hope began to grow.
"But it wasn’t what anyone expected. The General built a new city out of what was New York City. It looked like a bunch of matchboxes standing on their own. It was all grey cement, everything was symmetrical. This was The General’s idea of Utopia. He had the power and authority to do what he wanted. And he did horrible things. He built three other cities on the continent of America. Once they were complete, he handpicked those he wanted from around the world. There were those who protested. If they did protest, he killed them. Remember that he was in charge of the military, a sum total of about half the remaining population on earth. And all his soldiers were his ardent followers. As soon as all preparations were complete, he moved his people into the Cities. Immediately, he started re-education programs for all the citizens. He adopted the name of The Magistrate. His society was cruel and emotionless. Bit by bit, he stripped away the individual rights of the citizens, until the only thing they had were their names. Then he took their names. He controlled everything. He had cameras put everywhere, and citizen monitoring took place. He made absurd laws; the most trivial offense was punishable by death. If you as much as thought against the government, you were exterminated for Violation. Soon, the minds and bodies of the world belonged to him and his regime.
"That was nearly three hundred years ago. The original Magistrate has since died, but there have been new ones in his place. That is how this society came into existence. That is why we have nothing but our thoughts, and even that the government tries to take from us. They tell us it is for our on protection. But we know better. One day, there will be justice, true justice! One day, we will truly have salvation. Who will save us? When he comes, we are prepared to meet him. We will not submit ourselves to be crushed. It is time to fight back. The time is coming. All there is to do now…is wait."

28 Days Later

2008-01-29T22:13:00.000-08:00

So I'm doing fantastic. "Now is that because of your circumstance or your perspective?" That's a good question. I'm doing fantastic because of my perspective. My circumstances are nice right now as well. But I know that's going to change in the next couple of weeks. But my perspective is one of that God is absolutley in control, and He's doing a better job of controlling my life than I do. When you're stuck in a rut, you have to get a boost out. Or have someone carry you out. I was in a rut and God has pulled me out. And now, He has put me on the right path and he's not letting me stray. He's got my hand, and he's not letting go. When my perspective changes, God will put me to the test; as he has so many times. He's amazing like that. Anyway, just a quick update. Later, y'all.

P.S. McCain won Florida and Guiliani is dropping out and is going to endorse him.

P.S.S Congratulations to me on 28 days!

Amazing Fountain of Every Grace

2008-01-23T18:49:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll. As you can see in my previous post, I never actually got around to putting up the revised version of "The War". I'll see if I can do that, although the computer it was on got a virus, so it may be gone forever. But anyway, it's been a long time since I've posted. Twenty days, in fact. And what an eventful 20 days it has been! Well, not really but it's had its ups and downs, like and other days. But God has been doing some amazing things, which I think I'd like to talk about.

The thing about sin is that it cripples your soul and brings you to a dark place where all the trees are dead and the water is poisonous. The darkness around you is so thick that you can't see anything around you. What this means is that sin makes you feel like there's no hope and you're never getting out of there. It blinds you to other areas that you need to work on. Then when you turn and look at the blinding light, and you seek the real answer for your problems, you are enlightened to see the patches of poison and dead trees. Basically, when you have victory over a certain sin in your life then you are able to see the other sins.

Well, by the Grace of God, I've been having victory over a certain sin in my life and naturally, I get to see how much more corrupt I really am. :-D And it was quite depressing. However, God is getting me through it as he always does. I'll be fine; don't worry. But God is pretty much amazing for giving me this much grace. For my title, I've combined two of the best hymns ever written, Amazing Grace and Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. I think it fits nicely, rolls off the tongue and rings in the ears. Anyway, that's what God is. Later, y'all!!

I wish I had a specific verse to give y'all, but the book of Genesis is what I've been reading through and it is beautiful, actually. So go read that!

The War: A Prequel to The Magistrate

2008-01-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

Story taken down for further editing. Hopefully, I'll have it up by tomorrow.

Take A Breath, Look Back and Thank God it's Over

2008-01-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the New Year. 2007 has been kicked of the podium of time and has been replaced by a new emperor, 2008. All I can say is, good riddance 2007!!! Seven is such a dull number anyway, and it's about time it was replaced. If I'm permitted to open my soul on this squre inch of blogosphere, then I shall do so. The year 2007 sucked quite profoundly. I'm not going to go into the details of exactly how it sucked, but I'm glad it's gone. Although, God did do a lot of work through the things that happened. 2008 promises to be full of new challenges and more of God's work. All the things that happened in the past year helped make make me into a stronger person, though many times I wish it didn't have to hurt as much. But that is how God works most of the time. The sermon on sunday night talked about the trials the new year will bring; God will still try us as his children and put us through fire to mold us into fine working instruments.

Well, I originally just came onto my blog to rant about how much I hated 2007. I lost some friends and I made some new ones. That's how it goes, not always with the same methods though. The people in my life influence me so much. The friends I now have are pretty incredible. There were things I lost with the friends I lost, and God brought new friends to bring those things back in. Life is an airport, and someone flew away, and someone else looked to their side and saw me. Thank you, God.

In other news, there will hopefully be a Magistrate part 2 sometime in the next week.

The Magistrate: A Short Story

2007-12-13T22:10:00.001-08:00

The Magistrate

Michael Smith stood alone in the rain, waiting. It was nearly time. The rain beat down mercilessly on him. “Why is it always raining?” He asked himself. He shifted his feet. “He should have been here by now.” He breathed a long sigh into the cold air. The flimsy grey canopy like structure above him bended weakly with the wind; and he could smell the wet cement behind him. It was a strong, artificial sort of smell; contrasting sharply with the vile smell of alcohol that emitted from the flask he held in his gloved hand. He always wore gloves, whether or not the local climate dictated it. The black leather of his boots creaked as he stamped his feet on the cement to keep warm. He put the flask of liquor back in his overcoat pocket. His ears detected the faintest electric purr of a vehicle; and a sleek, black car came into view. “He’s late.” He thought to himself. The car rolled up to him and the back window on the passenger side rolled down. “I have a message for you,” said a grating low voice. “The Magistrate wants to see you.” Michael nodded. “Let’s go.”
“My name is Michael Smith, identification code Bravo 996. I live in Imperium City. I am 23 years old. I have no domestic partner. I work for the Magistrate, the ruler of Imperium City. My only purpose is to serve the Magistrate. This is my sole purpose and duty, and I will fulfill it to the end. Long live the Magistrate!”
The hologram which contained Michael’s credentials closed back into the disc from where it had sprung from. The man sitting opposite him handed it back to him. “Well, Bravo 996, how do you like Imperium City?” There lurked the faintest hint of smile on his lips. “Sir, it’s a nice change in scenery,” responded Michael. The man looked at him. “Nice change in scenery, huh? Doesn’t make much sense to me; the cities are all the same. Every wall is dull, grey cement. Every road is black. Everything’s symmetrical, everything’s clean. You know, I heard that before the age of the Cities, there were these things called matchboxes that people used to start fire. I saw a picture of one once. Our cities look like a bunch of matchboxes standing up.” Michael stared at him, questions rising in his eyes. He carefully watched the man ramble on about the Cities. “He’s bordering on Violation,” thought Michael. Immediately, the man, as though sensing his thoughts, caught himself. “But of course, that’s how it should be: clean and symmetrical.” He said not very convincingly. Michael nodded as if to convey a sense of caution to the man.
The man sat silently for a moment, then turned a cold eye onto Michael. “It didn’t say anything in your profile about your Division,” he barked sharply, “explain, Bravo 996!” Michael’s facial expression did not change. “I’m sorry sir; protocol dictates that I cannot tell you that. It’s classified.” The man’s temper flared, and he grabbed Michael’s collar roughly. “Tell me, you piece of filth! I have authority over you!” (Apparently, he was bent out of shape because Michael had detected he was bordering on Violation.) “You will submit to me the proper information about your division, Bravo 996!” Michael grabbed the man’s hands. His expression conveyed no emotion. “If you must know, I am of Division 2.” He said coldly. Suddenly, the man’s eyes grew wide in horror. “You-You’re one of them! Get away from me!” Michael’s hands closed about the man’s neck. “You are in Violation of Code, information has been revealed to you which is classified and you have physically attacked a Division 2 construct of the Magistrate. As such, it is my duty to terminate you. Your service to the Magistrate has been appreciated but you are no longer needed.” The man stared in horror at him, “Your time will come!” He whispered hoarsely. “I exterminate people like you; I can’t be exterminated,” whispered Michael back. The man tried to yell out but failed as Michael’s hand was against his throat. With one swift motion and a brutal cracking sound, Michael snapped the man’s neck. It was as simple to Michael as it would have been to snap a twig. Then, he pulled the back of the seat to reveal the trunk and shoved the body inside. He sat back in the seat and breathed as if nothing had happened. He adjusted his black tie, smoothed his dark hair and settled back in his seat. “Take me to the Magistrate; and have this vehicle Sanitized.” He told the computer that was driving the car. “Yes, sir.” It was still raining outside. “Why is it always raining?” Michael muttered.
The car pulled up to a large square like building. It rose into a pyramid, way up in the clouds. This was the Magistrate’s personal dwelling and the headquarters for all Division monitoring. Several other such towers rose in the distance, the Ministries. Each one responsible for a certain area, they kept close watch on their quadrant. Michael ascended the steps in the rain and passed through the wide archway. Two masked guards wearing all black stopped him. He showed them his disc, and told them his name and number. “Alright, Mr. Black, you’re cleared to go. The Magistrate is expecting you.” Michael nodded and proceeded to the elevator. “I’m here to see the Magistrate.” He told the elevator. “Welcome, Bravo 996,” said a smooth woman’s voice, “The Magistrate has been expecting you.” The elevator rose into the air. Michael turned and looked out the window.
He could see the grey city, stretching on for miles. The grey tops of the buildings glistened wetly under the unrelenting rain. Nothing but grey for miles. This was Imperium City. Everything was clean, everything was right. Everything was dealt with in the methods the Magistrate had dictated. And that was the way it should be. Michael had grown up in this building, in an underground facility called Section 42. He had grown up without any parents; the only parental figures he knew were his instructors. His real parents had been donors from Division 3. He was now a Division 2 Construct, someone who had no other purpose but to do the Magistrate’s bidding. Division 1 Constructs were called Citizens, and they each had jobs assigned them; designed to increase the overall welfare of the state. About ninety percent of the constructs in the cities were Citizens. Division 2 Constructs were the only ones who had more of personal names as well as numbers. They were the “police” of the Cities. They hunted down Violators (those who thought, said, or did anything against the state.) and exterminated them. Michael was a special Division 2 construct; he worked for the Magistrate personally. Generally, Division status was shown on ID discs, unless you were like Michael; a Division 2 construct specifically trained to be the Magistrate’s personal guard. Division 3 Constructs were called Elitists. They were the directors of the various Ministries of the cities. The Magistrate was the top Division 3 Construct. He was the leader of all the cities.
The elevator had reached the top of the building, and shook Michael from his reverie. He stepped out into a large grey room. There was an android secretary at a small desk. It looked up at him as he approached and handed her his ID disc. The android analyzed it, and then said, “Welcome, Bravo 996, the Magistrate is waiting.” A pair of doors slid open and Michael walked through them.
He found himself in an enormously large room. Everything was dull grey and there was no furniture of any kind save a chair at the far wall facing a huge monitor. There were images of people on the screen and video feed of every room in the building. There was a man sitting in the chair, talking to a holographic image of one of the directors. The hologram disappeared and the Magistrate stood up and turned around. He was tall man, with jet black hair, and an aura of perfection about him. He wore a black suit and a silver ring with a black stone set in the middle. “Ah! Michael! You’re here!” Michael nodded. The Magistrate strode toward him. “What do you have for me?” Michael pulled three small discs out of his coat pocket and handed them to the Magistrate. “Excellent!” said the Magistrate, as he strode over to the massive screen on the wall. Michael followed him quietly. The Magistrate inserted the three discs into three different slots in the wall near the screen. Three figures appeared on the screen. They were the leaders of the other three Cities. Suddenly, a red bar materialized in front of each image. The message read, “EXTERMINATED FOR VIOLATION.” A thin smile played itself across the features of the Magistrate. “Wonderful work, Bravo 996; you have done your work like a true servant.” Michael nodded. “It is my purpose, Magistrate.” The Magistrate turned toward Michael. “I now control all four of the Cities. Everything will be as it should. There shall be no Violation unpunished, no thinking left uncorrected. No emotion shall go unchecked. Their will be new, more aggressive monitoring on all Citizens. The old laws of Violation shall be strengthened. The population shall truly know that this is their salvation!” Michael nodded in agreement. “Sir, what was their violation?” The Magistrate stiffened, and looked at him. “Thought crime, Bravo 996, they were found thinking against the state.” He said in a halting tone. Michael wanted to ask how they knew of their thought crime. “Enough with the questions, Bravo 996, you did well. You’re dismissed.” Michael bowed and exited the room. The Magistrate watched him go; then pushed a button and a hologram of a soldier clothed in black materialized. “What are your orders, Magistrate?” The soldier inquired. “Bravo 996 has committed Violation and questioned motives of the state. I want him exterminated immediately.” said the Magistrate coldly, “He is not to leave this building; he has worn out his usefulness and he is dangerous to the state.” The holographic soldier nodded. “Consider it done, Magistrate.”
Michael got into the elevator. As it descended, he pondered his encounter with the Magistrate. Was the reason he had exterminated those three leaders really because of Violation? But it wasn’t his place to question the Magistrate. The Magistrate was always right. But Michael couldn’t help but notice how the Magistrate reacted when he asked that question. But that probably just meant that what happened was a different degree of Violation. He figured what he had done was perfectly legitimate. Abruptly, the elevator stopped. Elevators weren’t supposed to stop in the middle of a descent. Michael’s senses tingled. He felt like something was wrong. The doors slowly opened.
He was staring into a security monitoring complex. Security guards were everywhere, and as the doors opened, they all turned towards him. “Hey, that’s the Division 2 construct wanted for Violation!” someone shouted. “Violation!?” The thought darted through Michael’s mind. Then his instincts instantly took over. Diving into the room, he sidestepped swiftly, and jammed his elbow into the nearest guard’s helmet. Grabbing the soldier’s machine gun, Bravo 996 swung around, firing machine gun rounds into the tightly knotted soldiers. Swinging the gun upward, he discharged a round into the skull of the soldier whose weapon he was borrowing. As the soldier dropped to the ground, Michael gripped the gun and rushed through the room to the window on the far side. As he ran, he passed a shelf with tactical equipment. He grabbed a rappelling cable and discharged it into the ledge of the window as he shot the glass and leapt through the space. For a split second, Michael was even with the raindrops around him and time stood still. Then as gravity took hold, he plummeted towards the earth.
The rappelling cable took effect and swung Michael into the wall of the building. He jammed his thumb onto the lowering mechanism, and he shot downwards. Breaking periodically with the rappelling mechanism, he quickly came near the roof of a lower building. Michael quickly shoved his legs into the wall and propelled himself on to the adjacent roof. He landed with a loud thud onto the roof. He lay still for a moment. He looked up. There was an airship patrolling around the Magistrate’s building. “Not good!” He leapt up and ran towards the edge of the building and leapt off onto a lower one, and so on until he reached the surface streets. He pressed himself against the wall and watched as the airship made a pass over him. It hadn’t detected him; otherwise they’d already have killed him. He relaxed his guard and pondered the events of the past half hour. He was being hunted down for Violation. Why? Questions arose in his mind. The Magistrate wanted him gone. That was the only explanation. Michael knew too much, that was it. He knew the reason why the leaders were gone. And he was pretty sure now, that it wasn’t for violation. It was for power; for the Magistrate’s gain. The entire system Michael had worked to preserve his entire life; was broken. His god had betrayed him.
The rain still fell all around him. “Why is it always raining?” He wondered again. There was silence except for the pattering of raindrops all around him. “It’s not supposed to be like this, I’m a Division 2 construct! I don’t get exterminated.” reasoned Michael. But these questions could come later. Right now, he needed to make himself invisible. He was good at that. He needed to become inconspicuous. He would go to the center of the city. And spread the message about the Magistrate and his hypocrisy. Yes! That was it. “Salvation! Salvation for one man isn’t much of a salvation.” Michael heard an airship in the distance. It was time to go.

Judge Yourself

2007-12-07T17:38:00.000-08:00

So a friend of mine just showed me a bulletin that was posted on Myspace. It asks a whole bunch of questions about social problems and such. For your benefit, I will post it here (The "pic of" indicates that there was originally a picture there.):

"Why do people commit suicide?picture of SuicideWhy do people cut themselves?pic of BleedWhy do girls become anorexic and bulimic?pic of AnorexicWhy do kids bring guns to school?pic of KillWhy do kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them?pic of OD MedsWhy do girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys?pic of Slut (in gym, with guy, yiiikes)Why cant people show their sexuality freely, without worrying about being judged?pic of Lovely (two gay guys YYYYUUUUUCKKKKK)In the Bill Of Rights, it says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are we so afraid to speak up for ourselves?I KNOW WHY!Shh!pic of Evil"Whores"pic of Plastics (putting on tons of makeup)"Geeks"pic of Losers"Goths"pic of Darkness"Emos"pic of andfadetoblackAND THAT’S NOT EVEN HALF OF THEM!Society in generalpic of EarththetruthIS THIS the world?pic of Child AbuseIS THIS THE NATION FIGHT AND WE LIVE IN WARS TO SUPPORT?pic of TrappedI AM SICK OF IT!Stereotypes, and everything else.I want to live in a good place, without suicide, rape, murder, and JUDGEMENT!pic of Killing is wrong (why do we kill people who kill people to say that killing people it wrong?)IF THIS HAD ANY AFFECT ON YOU REPOST IT!No, a ghost will not rape your dog.You wont have relationship problemsNo you won’t die in 7 days.BUT you will have the guilt on your shoulders that you didn’t try to get the message across.I want to stop the madness.If I only reached out to 1 or 2 people that’s fine.At least MY conscience is clear...HOW ABOUT YOURS?--You have to click 'Reply To Poster', and then copy and paste in a different bulletin or you won’t get the whole bulletin…"

So despite the fact that it's a Myspace bulletin and full of atrocious grammar and other such teen horrors, this script is very misguided. In a nutshell, it is saying that the reason kids have so many problems is because people judge them for who they are. My friends, this is most certainly not the case. Kids ae not the way they are because some person thought something different than they did. If that was indeed the case, then we're raising a generation of genuine wimps. The reason goes a lot deeper than that. People aren't messed up because of stereotypes. People are messed because of one little word: sin.

The problems we have in our society are not because people feel judged. Maybe that plays a small role, but not a huge one. Sin is what twists our society. Every problem we have in society today is atributable to sin. The problems in society also spring from a wrong view of many things; pain...suffering. So many things we see today have the wrong solutions, the wrong diagnosis...the wrong everything. People don't kill because they have an emotional problem, or a physical problem. People kill because they have a spiritual problem. Our society tends to think of everything in terms of sickness. Our culture is absolutley intent on removing any concept of responsiblity from the halls of justice. Murderers are sentenced to pyscho-therapy. Pedophiles are released back into society for another chance. There is more crime now than there was 50 years ago because people are so obsessed with the idea that people deserve a second chance...no matter what. It's ridiculous. This is what happens to a nation who forsakes the Lord.

Kids are messed up because we teach them that they're an accident. More on that in a later post!

The Crutch

2007-11-28T17:42:00.000-08:00

So today was a wonderful day. We had biology class today and we're currently going over the topic of evolution. We didn't spend much time on it because we already know the topic so well, however, I was refreshed on some of the ridiculous assumptions held by evolutionists. Let me show you.

We were discussing the evolution of the whale. Apparently, whales evolved from cows. I wonder, how is that possible? Well, the answer I heard was that some prehistoric cow-like creature wandered into the water one day and over generations, developed offspring with different characteristics. Then, eventually the not-so-cowlike-cow produced a whalelike offspring. And thus, the whale came into existence.

I cannot tell you how much fun we had with this in class. It's so absolutley ridiculous that some people actually believe the kind of things we were discussing. The concept of evolution in of itself is at complete odds with the rest of society in some respects, and in other areas, we're reaping the sad fruit of this twisted worldview. Allow me to explain.

Homosexual rights: Modern day society is absolutley obsessed gays and their artificial rights. There is an outpouring of post-modern love on homosexuals and their is an ever increasingly clamor about their right to marriage or civil unions. Society wants to grace such people with rights that would make them equal to heterosexuals. This would make them feel better about themselves, and would further help to advance the agenda that homosexuality is an acceptably alternative lifestyle. However, we also live in a neo-Darwinian society, where evolution is taught as fact all the way from kindergarten through highschool. The primary vehicle for evolution is natural selection; survival of the fittest. This means that whoever can climb their way to the top of the food chain will survive. Anyone who can reproduce the most, will continue their line. I spot a contradiction between evolutionary thinking and the massive gay rights movement. According to evolutionary philosphy, homosexuals are the mess-ups of evolution. They're accidents. They should be weeded out by natural selection and discarded onto the evolutionary junk heap. If society teaches evolution (which promotes the survival of the fittest, and teaches that those unfit to survive will go extinct) yet at the same time is waving the banner of gay rights (promoting those unfit to survive and trying to preserve them), why in the world has not this contradiction been noticed before? The two are incompatible! If society truly wishes to advance evolution, then gay rights should have been done away with long ago. The two are at odds with each other, and represent contrary thinking.

Abortion: Abortion is a tragic result of an evolutionary mindset. The theory that evolution creates useless parts, or vestigial parts, promotes the idea of abortion. Evolution may have just made a mistake, and the fetus isn't human yet. It's not fully evolved until later on. Mainly, however, the abortion holocaust is due to the mindset it promotes: man has no value. If man is a random product of evolution, then he really isn't worth anything. Therefore, there's not a problem in eliminating our offspring. Abortion is a result of evolution.

In both these instances, a Biblical viewpoint of Creation is better. Instead of condemning homosexuals to the pit of meaninglessness, tell them that they are made in the image of God and thus have worth. It is not loving to gays and lesbians to tell them they're the product of random chance; in fact, it's not loving to tell anyone that. We're made in the image of God, that's why abortion is wrong, and that's why homosexuals shouldn't be viewed as accidents of God's creation. Sure, they're in fatal error, but God didn't make a mistake. More on both these topics will appear in later posts. Thanks for reading!!

"Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.'" Genesis 1:26

Post feedback please!!!

A Poll for Interest?

2007-11-25T00:08:00.000-08:00

So my weekend is finally over. Well, actually, it really just began yesterday and it ends today. Thanksgiving holiday was a much needed break. I just needed to rest, lay back and chill. I've had quite a momentous week, full of surprises and thrills and common frustrations. But it's all being directed by the Divine hand, so I've nothing to worry about. So what shall I talk about?

Well, before I can really blog, I need readers. If anyone reads this, tell people that you do read it. I'm very interested in feedback to improve my writing skills, etc. I'm considering setting up an email list of people who'd regularly like to read this blog. I'd send emails everytime I posted to let people know what's current. Sounds like a great idea.

I got to see some important people last night. My most wonderous sisters came to visit me. Isn't that cool? I love them so much. Anyway, this blog isn't very purposeful or meaningful so I don't think I'll give it a purposeful or meaningful title. I don't have much time anyway, so I think maybe I'll just end this blog here. Adieu.

Airports in Autumn

2007-11-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

Today is Thanksgiving. All around the United States, people are coming together with their families and friends to celebrate life and enjoy good food. It's a time when we can just stop and think about our lives and say, "Wow, I have so much to be thankful for. It's too bad we only get one day to enjoy it." Well, hopefully we don't say that. We should be thankful everyday for what we have. Thanksgiving Day just accentuates it and puts it in perspective, then lets us eat turkey and drink cider and have a good time. Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of fellowship, but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be the only day that we are thankful for the things we have. For a lot of people, Thanksgiving may just be a time to curse God for all the things they don't have. That's not the attitude we should have. At this time of year, we should be spreading the love of Christ. We should be an example to all around us. So let's talk about love and thankfulness. We'd better be grateful to God for His love to us. I'll tell you what I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my God. You know, I think Thanksgiving day is a pretty crucial time of year. It forces us to just "Stop!!", a thing Americans don't do often, unfortunately. It tells us we have something that makes our life better on a daily basis. So when I look back and see all the car wrecks and nuclear meltdowns that happened in my life, I'm amazing that God has still directed me safe thus far. And I'm grateful. God is pretty much amazing. He gave us this day so we can remember why.

Life is like an airport. We're just sitting in the terminal, watching planes take off. Sometimes we don't take enough time to turn to the person next to us and see who it is. And when we do look, we may just figure out that they're not at all who we thought they were. And we may find them to be pleasant people. Sometimes, the ticket master will tell us that we're on the same plane. But we don't get to know that. We each have our own destination, and we're not in control.

Love God because He's worth loving and don't question why.
Look for the oceans in the stars, way up in the sky
For He is always there, peering down at us.
A loving Father, whom we must trust.

Reach for the Sky

2007-11-20T20:26:00.000-08:00

So I've been thinking. Since Slingpaw is dead, who I am has been up to a little debate, but only between me and me. I've decided that the name Firefinder isn't good enough, it's too corny and not beautiful enough. So I set out on a quest to find my identity. I talked with my experienced peers, and yielded few results. However, in that quest, I did come up with a few terms which may appear as terms in future short stories or poems or just beautiful writing. So I turned to other resources to provide an identity for this new creation. I wanted something that sounded foreign, yet strangely attractive. I wanted something that would roll off the tongue but stick in the mind. I wanted something that meant something. And so I found that something. The identity I have chosen to go by is known as Empyrean (em-peer-e-in). Empyrean is an ancient term for the sky; in both spiritual and physical understandings. Granted, this term does have pagan connotations; in the ancient world Empyrean was regarded as the realm of pure life which hosted fire and where perfection was manifest. It was glossed over later in its existence with Christian coverings, and was then understood to mean the realm of God and His angels. Personally, if I am to use this identity, it will be to rebut the pagan connotations of the word; I won't use it to advance a Gnostic idea of transcending reality to a pure realm. Rather, I would hope that those who know my definition of the word, would rather think of the heavens and God's greatness in making them. I believe empyrean to mean the sky, or the firmament. So there you have it. Now no one can accuse me of pagan heresy. :-D

Don't you just love beautiful words? Slingpaw is dead, I killed him. I am Empyrean.

A New Beginning

2007-11-18T22:11:00.001-08:00

Slingpaw is dead. I killed him. I took who he was and had him changed by fire. The Blacksmith shaped who he was and the thing he produced; that is what I am. By fire he molded me, and into ice he placed me. I am here as his servant. Slingpaw is dead, I am what is, what was has passed away. And the fire in the ice has grown into a raging inferno, licking away at the ice eager to get out...to spread it's tantalizing warm. Slingpaw is dead. I am Firefinder.